6 Reasons to Only Have One Kid

This is just a silly article that mirrors some of the tongue-in-cheek blog posts with reasons to have multiple babies. For the love of God, please don’t family plan based on my cheesy jokes.

As a young-ish (early 30s) mom of one 3-year-old son, I am often asked when I will have another baby. People may be surprised to hear that I am a one-and-done parent, and my husband and I made this decision before I even got pregnant with our son. So if you are looking for reasons to stop at just one baby, here is the list for you!

Me, third trimester, as a bridesmaid in my friend’s wedding. Good times. 10/10. But I’m not going to be pregnant again.
Bye, bye, crib. No one will miss you.
  1. You have more options for cars and don’t necessarily have to pick a “mom/dad car.”
    • With multiple kids, you usually need a big vehicle to lug everyone around. Minivans are usually the cars that people imagine when they think of moms and dads toting around their children. But when you only have one kid to drive around, your options for a “cool parent car” are pretty wide open. Sedan? SUV? Four-door truck? All are good options. I personally chose a Ford Bronco Sport for my “mom car.” People have no idea who that is pulling up to the school pick-up line. Am I a rugged, outdoorsy type? An adventurer? Al Cowlings? I keep them guessing.
  2. You have a free hand for coffee.
    • Imagine having to walk two kids around while running errands. You’ve got one small hand in each of yours, sometimes being pulled in two different directions. Lame. Now imagine you have just one kid and one hand to hold. Ah, the freedom! You can use that empty hand to hold your overpriced coffee and drink it while it’s still hot. What a dream!
  3. You can get rid of all of the stuff.
    • The amount of things that you acquire with just one kid can be daunting. From the bassinet to the bottles to the many, many toys. When you plan to have multiple children, you have to struggle and find places to store all of that junk while still acquiring more junk for the growing kid that is already here. Having just one kid means that you can list that stuff on Facebook Marketplace ASAP and enjoy the exciting game of “Am I about to be a true crime story or will I get $20?”
  4. Except for the baby carrier.
    • Keep that one. You can stuff it with snacks, put a baby doll on top, and go to the movies without taking out a second mortgage for concessions. You’ll probably get side-eye for bringing a “baby” to see a gory horror movie, and it will probably be worse when you pull out candy from under its butt. But at least people won’t want to sit next to you.
  5. You won’t be bamboozled by a “trick baby.”
    • Okay this one is actually not a joke. If you were lucky enough to get one of those babies that is super chill and sleeps through the night, then congrats! I got one of those, too, and I call him “nature’s trick.” That’s the kind of kid who makes you think, “Oh, this is so easy, I could have another no problem.” And then the problem bursts forth from your uterus 9 months later. “Trick babies” give you an unearned confidence that the second baby will destroy in a heartbeat. Don’t let Mother Nature catch you slippin’.
  6. Regular-size Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups come in packs of 2.
    • And you just need one broke best friend to share it with.

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